**All media below is the opinion of an individual student and therefore does not represent or speak to the values of Vestavia Hills High School and Vestavia Hills City Schools**
A group of VHHS seniors at this year’s homecoming dance
A girl walks into the gym wearing a beautiful blue satin dress and dazzling earrings. All around her, high schoolers dance joyfully to the pounding music, and lights flare back and forth. A chaotic array of colors, sparkles, and people fills her eyes; chaos blooms all around her.
While everyone appears to be experiencing the fun and excitement that come with a dance, she feels the exact opposite: stress, sadness, and disappointment. All she can think about is how all of her friends are frustrated with her for the plans she tried to make in an attempt to make everyone happy which failed miserably. And all her expectations she had for her first school dance were dashed before she even walked on the dance floor. Unable to enjoy herself, she wishes dearly for the night to end.
This situation is quite common in high school when it comes to dances, despite what social media and other platforms portray. Many teenagers suffer from anxiety over planning the dance and fulfilling everyone's expectations, ultimately culminating in disappointment for themselves. While many regard school dances as some of the most fun parts of high school, they seem overrated at times because the prep for them can cause unnecessary stress before the dance which leads to unattainable expectations and disappointment.
With that being said, dances are not entirely bad. Much good can come from school dances, such as meeting new people or seeing friends that are not seen on a day-to-day basis.
Since my school is so large, I do not get to see everyone during the day. However, dances offer the opportunity for me to see those people I see less often during the day. This year at our homecoming dance, I had a large group for pictures, which was great because the large group gave me the opportunity to have so many conversations with people I have not seen in a long time.
Also, much of the money that is raised from school dances goes to benefit good causes and charities within the community. For example, every dance I have attended at my school donates all its funds to a club with a purpose of serving others in the community, such as 1Rebel Service Club, or to RISE, our semester philanthropy fundraiser. Not only do dances create conversations, but they benefit more than just the students that attend them.
Even so, school dance prep still seems excessive at times because of the stress and tension that arises from the planning of the dance. At first glance, high school students appear to love school dances; after all, they seem to be infinitely more enjoyable than homework or class. But on closer inspection, the planning that comes with school dances outweighs the excitement and fun the night brings. The dances end up not being worth the stress that comes hand in hand with them; stresses to look nice and find a date, to create groups and make plans, to make each person happy and include everyone.
Also, many of these stresses begin long before any dance occurs; this year our homecoming dance was in early October but I have a distinct memory of girls trying to find a date in July. But the true stress comes with making the plans; each dance someone must step up and take responsibility for the group. They are the person that makes the reservations and attempts to fulfill everyone’s wants. Also, they face the hardest task of all: including everyone yet making everyone happy.
A lot goes into a dance, and most of the preparation begins long before the day of the dance. So much time, effort, and money goes into this preparation. This past homecoming, I started getting ready for the dance a week before it actually happened because I had so much to do. I had to get my nails done, get my hair done, get a spray tan, and find the right jewelry, shoes, and makeup. While I agree that it is fun to participate in all of these activities and get dressed up, the pressure to do all these things for one night has exploded over time.
After some dances, I look back, and I wonder, “Wow, I really spent all that energy for that?” In addition to the preparation, there are many social pressures that come with dances. The most recent one is the need for an extravagant afterparty. And the driving force behind this need: social media. The themed afterparty adds even more complication to the already extreme preparation for dances. The need for a themed afterparty comes directly from social media; people add a costume just so they can post a picture and “impress” others. Seeing a group of people posting afterparty pictures puts pressure on everyone to have a lavish afterparty and causes additional stress. This causes students to to focus too much on a social media post, causing them to not enjoy the night as much which results in disappointment at the lack of enjoyment.
In the end, school dances bring many good things to the table. They build relationships and facilitate new conversations. I myself have had a great time at every school dance, and there are many positives. But there are moments when I feel the prep for them is a bit extreme. After all, it is only one night. Instead of focusing on prepping for a social media post, it is important to keep in mind the real thing people are preparing for: a great night of celebration with good friends.
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